This is a non-weight related post.
As my wedding day approaches, I find that I am missing my grandmother more than anything. I would trade every last bit of my wedding just to have her back. I feel like she's missing. I wasn't even engaged when she passed away.
I was never the little girl imagining her wedding day. It had never been a thought in my mind. Sure, I wanted to get married, but I didn't have it all planned out. But I guess the one thing I had always pictures, was always sure of, is that I'd be able to share that day with my grandmother.
And now I'm not. I try and try to feel her spirit, to remind myself that she's watching, that she knows, but I just don't feel her. I want to hear her voice again. I want her to see my dress, my ideas. I want a photo with her when I'm all dressed up. I don't have that. I won't have that. It breaks my heart.
I cry about her at least twice a week, and it's been almost a year. I thought the pain would go away after a while. Sure I don't cry every day anymore, but it's still frequent enough.
There isn't really a point to this post, other than that I needed to get this all out. I'm empty without her and I don't talk about it to anyone. I'm sure we all miss her. She was an amazing lady. I just really, really miss her.
No comments:
Post a Comment