Jealousy gets ya down on a bad day....

Yesterday I had a job interview for a massage position at a salon & spa.  I was offered the job on the spot and since I haven't worked since before school I accepted it.  I had my first day of training and it's so different from the mentality that I was taught at school that it was a particularly brutal day and I'm wondering if it's the right place for me even.

Then I get home, and Nick's ex, who friended me on Facebook (they do have a 2 year old together), has posted a before and after picture of herself.  40 pounds lost and 3 dress sizes.  And that's her halfway mark!  So you'd think she'd be pretty big but she is in fact not.  I'd say 20 pounds more not 40 or she'll look grossly thin...

Anyway!  So yeah, giant jealousy and Nick's sister liked the post and sometimes I feel like his family likes her more than they'll ever like me.  I know that's not the case, but...I compare myself to her, and I think she's prettier, and funnier, etc.  Not to mention she had a child with Nick and I want a baby so bad but he's all for "getting established" and I'd like to be married first as a personal preference, and I have three years on him so my clock is ticking a bit faster.

It's rough.  Most of the time before/after photos are inspiring but today, it made me feel horrible and just gigantic because I'm pretty sure she was never as big as I am.

So today, no advice, no uplifting.  Just me hitting a brick like we all do.

Workout with Disney!

Last week I started using a stability ball and weights, and bought a Jilian Michaels Yoga Meltdown DVD because dieting wasn't cutting it.  I love the DVD but I can't do a lot of it because I have no upper body strength and cannot hold all 222 pounds of myself up.

So I was lying in bed trying to think about how to get more cardio in.  We live in a a condo and it's got an open floor plan and I read somewhere that walking is just as successful as running so I thought I could walk inside.  It's WAY too cold for my bones out in that weather and honestly, I had the idea of someone peeking out their window seeing me exercising.

So, I put in my favorite Disney move, Beauty and the Beast, and decided I would walk for 40 minutes this morning!  I chose Beauty and the Beast because I know it well, and wouldn't get distracted.  Yes, I admit, walking around in circles was boring, but it worked.  I got 40 minutes of a brisk walk in.  Better than 14 minutes of attempted yoga melt.  Hopefully after a few weeks of weight training I can try the yoga again, but we'll see.

Have a good day and don't loose hope!

My Goal for this Blog

My first post was rambling and I apologize for that.  It was a bad introduction and I'd like to introduce what I'd like this blog to be about.

I'm trying to get healthy, and I want you to get healthy too.  I plan on posting about my journey, and giving you tips to go on yours.  I also want you to know the effects extra weight can have on the body that people may not know.  We all know belly fat is dangerous, drinking lots of water (The massage therapist in me wants you to know that 1/2 your body weight in ounces is recommended daily!) and eating the right foods and portions is key.    

But did you know that for every extra pound you carry it adds an extra 3 pounds of pressure on your knee joint when you walk, and 10 extra pounds of pressure when you run?  That means, for me, I put an extra 186 pounds of pressure on my knees when I walk (As I weigh 222, am 5'8", and 160 is ideal goal for my height).  That's kind of scary!

I'll leave you with that thought, and I'll see you tomorrow!

~Shannah

My name is Shannah, and I'm a Chubby Chick.

The first time I was called fat was in 5th grade.  I in fact was not fat, but taller than most of the girls and not as skinny little kid like anymore but that's when it happened.  Nobody ever called me fat after that except myself.

So now, at 26, I am 5'8" and 222.8 pounds.  Yes the .8 IS necessary.  I am not the biggest I ever was, that was 242, but last year I was down to 204 after the Poor Girls Diet.

So I'm trying again.  I got back up to 233 and went on weight watchers.  I've been a bit stagnant for a few weeks now.  I just finished massage therapy school and am currently jobless so I thought "No excuse not to workout!" so I got weights, a yoga mat (I live in an upstairs condo and I'm pretty sure Mrs. Neighbor Downstairs does NOT want to hear all 222.8 pounds of me jumping up and down doing a cardoi DVD), and a stability ball.  I started last week, no weightloss or gain so I guess that's good.

I'm on WW.  I've tried counting calories. I can't stick to either.  I don't like having to track my food.  I KNOW, I KNOW, that's supposed to be a very successful method, but it feels like I'm in prison and that is not a successful feeling.

What I hate the most, is my face isn't very round, yes I have a double chin if I smile right, but I have "little head syndrome"  I feel as if my head is little and my body is big.  Like a cartoon.  Like it doesn't belong on my body, which it doesn't because my body doesn't belong on me!

I want to get healthy.  Diabetes and high blood pressure run in the family, and as a massage therapist I know all the bad things extra weight does to your body.  And of course I want to be thin and go into a normal store and buy something off the rack!  DUH!  I'm a girl.  We think that way even if we try to deny it.