Progress Report of Sorts

My ankle keeps flaring up.  Every time it feels good, I try to work out and then BAM, swollen, painful to walk on....it's pissing me off.

On the upside, I am monitoring my food intake pretty well.  Have I "cheated" yes.  Of course.  You need that IN MODERATION and only ONCE IN A WHILE.  I try to allow myself a "cheat dessert" once a week.  Yesterday it was some peanut clusters.  I still went down in weight.  :)

The big thing I've noticed is having a calendar to countdown to something (in this case, my own wedding) that I can cross off every day, mark how I FEEL I did with my food (I never put calroies, etc.  If I feel like I ate healthy I put a smiley face) and see the countdown.  I have 120 days until my wedding.  :)  And, the other benefit, is that while I do log my weight on myfitnesspal.com I mark it on my calendar every Monday and I can see a growing trend DOWNWARD.  Is it as much as I'd like?  No, but at this pace I'm set to lose about 16 pounds before my wedding and while I feel like I'm losing at a snails pace, it's really nice to see just how much I may lose if I continue this up and that there is a downward trend, and that I'm not just floating along.

And that was my problem before, I felt like I was just floating along, up and down up and down, and then I'd give up because I didn't feel like I was losing, and in reality, I probably was.  Wish I hadn't given up now, I'd be slimmer already!!!

Doing my best

I'm losing weight at a snails pace right now.  .5 pounds or less a week for the past few weeks.  At this rate, I'll only lose 8 more pounds before the wedding, which is NOT acceptable.  I think I can do better.

Eating has been a main issue, though I can't say the ankle injury is helping at all.  It still is pretty bad and is limiting my choices of exercise.  I can do elliptical for a bit, I can bike for longer.  I can't really walk as much as I'd like, no lunges, no jumping jacks, no jump rope....you know, those things that are pretty much staples of Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred...I did start it again this morning.  I eliminated the things I couldn't do and did substitutes.  It definitely doesn't make for as good a workout but whatever.

I will attempt to try and do 30 minutes on the bike when I get home tonight. Problem is, I leave at 7:40 in the morning and don't get home until 7:40 at night.  It makes the motivation a bit more difficult when you've been gone all day and up since 5:55 am.  And you have to fit eating sometime in there too!

Anyway, I can just try to be 10 times better with the food and hope for the best!  At least weight loss is weight loss and NOT a gain!

Ankle Update

Just a quick update:  Just a .2 pound loss this week, lol.  With my ankle being the way it is I tried to stay as much on food as possible and I did have one REALLY, REALLY bad day, but it seems I've made up for it.

I can't do much walking or anything or my ankle flares up and I have even been wearing a brace.  I can't decide if I want to just push through the pain or what.

Staying on track with food will be my best choice at this point because I really don't want to screw up the ankle but I'm frustrated that I can't continue with the 30 Day Shred the way it was meant to be used.

30 Day Shred - Day 10 - More ankle woes

After staying off of my ankle almost all day yesterday and wearing a damn brace on it, I was truly hoping it would be better.  However, just standing on it for the duration of my shower and morning ritual it was starting to get irritated which leads me to admit defeat.  I can't continue this program and hope to see results.  I just can't do the cardio portion or some of the compound moves.

I'll have to do some other video for now, maybe just the strength training portions of the Women's Health Wedding Workout.

It's really quite disappointing.  I've seen amazing before and after pictures and was really hoping to propel myself to some stunning changes, especially with only 136 days left to my wedding, but an injury will never heal if you don't let it.

Whatever the case may be I am watching my food really well and have gone from the 212 I was at to 208 as of today in 10 days.  I'll take it!  No complaints as I knew that food was my biggest battle but I don't want to be fan skinny I want to be fit.  We all know the difference!

30 Day Shred - Day 9

Day 9 = total disappointment.  Yesterday my ankle swelled so bad at work when I took my shoe off you could see where the top of it had been.  It was disgusting.

So I kind of HAVE to stay off of it.  No jumping jacks or lunges for me.  :(  Really pisses me off because seven days in a row was really good and I was feeling really motivated.  Now I'm worried that once healed, I'll have a hard time going back at it.

I am continuing my eating on pace, and can honestly say I'm quite pleased with myself.  I'm home today because my car broke down (4 1/2 months until my wedding, REALLY????) and I haven't managed to eat everything in the cupboards. That's good.  Really good.

Anyone out there by the way?  I'm curious to know if anyone cares?

Day 8 30 Day Shred Challenge- Rest Day.

My ankle HURTS.  Bad.  And since I know I'll be on it all day, I didn't do the DVD today.  My muscles probably would like a rest anyway but I do feel really guilty for not doing the workout.  Thank you Jillian.

On the upside, I'm at 208.8 pounds, so I've definitely lost some weight with it as when I started I was around 212 probably (again, I had a bad food weekend before I started so I didn't weigh myself but only guessed how much I was at)

30 Day Shred - Day 7 complete!

Last night I felt bad because we ate at Sweet Tomatoes and I went JUST over my calories, so I did do some extra elliptical work as well.

Day 7 went well today.  No complaints.  I got up and worked out right away without really thinking about it so that's good.  My endurance is getting better but as far as other physical changes I'm honestly not sure if anything has happened yet, but I mean, with this much layer of fat, if there ARE changes I find it hard to believe that I'll be able to see them.

I took before pictures though, so at Day 10 I'll take pictures again and compare, see if I can see anything.  Just three more days left!  Then I get a rest day if I choose to do so!

30 Day Shred - DAY 6 DONE!!!!!

So I woke up this morning with a serious upset stomach which included severe stomach cramps and other nastiness.  I did my workout anyway.

And I actually made it through pretty well.  My ankle didn't hurt so bad so I was able to do the jumping jacks and butt kicks.  The only thing I didn't do was the jump rope move (you don't actually use a jump rope and I should have clarified this earlier) and the side lunge as they tend to activate the ankle.

I was able to do most things without rest, AND I did EIGHT count 'em EIGHT push ups in a row.  Granted I still can't lower myself all the way to the ground and I am on my knees, but on day one I could only do maybe two without rest.  So, SOMETHING is improving.

I felt bad for not doing all the moves, so after the workout was done, I popped in another DVD, Women's Health: The Wedding Workout and did the Arms and Abs & Core portion of it.  It's just strength training but some of it still makes me work up a sweat and I'm really tired of having weak muscles.

Nick, my lovely fiance, went running with his dad this morning.  His whole family are runners and Nick doesn't exercise anymore though in high school he was in track and did pole vault and high jump. He went running last week or the week before I think, but only the once with his dad.  He managed to run over a 5k today, and then they walked some.  It really makes me jealous that he can just up and do that after years of not working out.  It would take me months to train for a 5k I feel like, and to top that off, my knee and ankle really wouldn't allow it I don't think anyway.

What are some of your fitness goals?  I'm not talking weight, but actual fitness?  I'd love to be able to move my weights up from 3 pounds to 5 pounds!

30 Day Shred - Day 5

My ankle is REALLY messed up today.  So I did what I was able to of the workout, minus most of the cardio portion other than the punches, so that I don't mess it up more.  Usually the jumping jacks don't bother it but today it was sharp pain so I figure better lay off of it.  I also didn't do the lunges.

Otherwise, I found that most everything was easier for me to do all the way through including the dreaded bicycle crunches!  So yay!  Though because of my eating I'm pretty sure I haven't seen any changes but I'm so tired of defeating my hard work that I swear to god I'm going to stick with my food program and I've laid out a menu for myself for all week.  I'm also going to try and eliminate most dairy other than yogurt, and bread, pasta, and rice.  So it's chicken breast and veggies all the way!!!  And fruit.  I won't give up fruit!!!

Anyway, because I wasn't able to do the cardio portion and it's my day off, I went to the gym at the apartment building and did 33 minutes (that's the program) on the bike, which added up to 7.51 miles and 275 calories.  I figured that will make up for lack of cardio with 30 Day Shred.

Otherwise it's still a go, as long as my ankle holds out.

30 Day Shred - Day 4

When the alarm went off this morning, I had second thoughts about getting up.  Then I thought to myself "are you really going to work out tonight after work?" and the answer was no.  No I was not, so I got up and did Day 4.

I was able to do the cardio a bit easier, without stopping for breaks.  I really wanted to try and push myself today but my left calf started cramping up which is super annoying.  I have weak ankles from severe foot pronation, and I recently was walking a lot so my ankles were getting pretty sore, but I kept walking.  And then I tried running for a train in Chicago, and twisted it.  It was swollen for several days and I thought pretty well healed but it does still bother me.  So it's not making some things easy, like the jump ropes or lunges.

Overall I still feel it's a good workout, and I do think I'm improving my stamina even after a few days, my upper body is still super weak but I was able to get one good knee push up.  After that I couldn't lower myself all the way down, but I'll get there.

So, I'm almost halfway with my first 10 days.  I'm excited to see if I have any physical results after the 10 Days, I've seen a lot of before and afters and some people you really can see it in, I'm just afraid that I'm so fat that you won't be able to see a difference.  I'm also afraid that if I don't see a difference, that I will give up.  I do that.  I know that over time it will change but I don't have much time, I have four and a half months to my wedding, I need to do something and do it NOW.

I AM NOT getting on that plane to Hawaii with my thighs touching the person in the next seat.  Sometimes I wish his parents wouldn't have paid for it, because I'd rather just go to Disney where I had a shorter flight, and didn't have to wear a swimsuit at all.

30 Day Shred Challenge - First three days RE-Cap

Well, I finished Day 3 of 30 day shred.  I'm shooting for 10 days in a row.

Everyone says that days two and three are the most difficult because you're sore, but I didn't exactly experience that.  I feel like the exercises are easy to follow, even if I can't do as many reps as Jillian does, but hey, I'm the farthest thing from Jillian Micahels!  Lol.

Day One: I made it through the workout, I took a few breaks to take a sip of water as my mouth gets dry when I workout because I don't know how to breath, but again, it was easy to follow and I survived.

Day Two: I woke up at 5:55 and went to it.  Getting up that early was NOT easy.  The workout went much as it did on day one.  And then, after I was done, and I was at work, THAT is when I was sore. I could feel it creep into my abs and my quads, which means I'm actually doing the exercises correctly.   I have to be honest, being a massage therapist, knowing what the muscles do, how they contract, and working in a chiropractic office making sure patients do their physical therapy correctly has really helped me learn how and why proper form is so important.  DON'T HURT YOURSELVES PEOPLE!  It's better to do less reps in proper form than push a ton out with improper form!

Day Three:  Not as sore today, I don't work until 2:24 so I got up, read my book, woke up, then worked out.  I could make it through some of the cardio (the butt kicks) a bit easier and through the whole 30 sec.  Push-ups are still a bitch.  I'm 211 pounds with no upper body strength, I can only lower myself a few inches, if I tried to go further, I'd break an arm and never get back up.

Now, just to control my eating a bit better.  I do feel really positive, like I'll see results, and I'm hiding the scale as much as possible.

Tomorrow starts the next month!

One month down in my day to day tracking.  I'm almost 100% positive that I've gained this week, I had some extra curriculars with some amazing food and yes, I did choose to eat that stuff.

That being said, I still feel I'm doing okay, and most days I do pretty well, but I want to take it all to the next step. There's just over a month until Nick's sisters wedding, in which I'm a bridesmaid.  The dress I get to wear is a beautiful shade of green, however it's so not a flattering cut with my giant belly.

I recently saw some amazing before and afters of people after the 30-Day Shred and at less than $10 for the DVD, I decided that's my next goal: To make it through 10 days and go from there.  This entails me getting up at 6 am.  That's scary.  Nick has been told to make sure I get up and out of bed.  Otherwise I'll never do it.  I like sleep, and I hate the alarm.

Now apparently you don't necessarily lose weight with 30 Day Shred, you may only loose inches, so I've taken to trying to measure myself best as possible and here they are.

Arms: 14.5 inches
Thighs: 28.5 (this is seriously only 1.5 inches smaller than Nick's WAIST)
Natural Waist: 37.5
Waist at belly button: 43 (thank God I was not bloated today)
Hips (the hardest part for me to measure, as the largest part was quite low, so I just did at my leg crease): 50" (OMG....really...huge ass hips.  Or just huge ass, either way, I am not happy with this)
Under bust: 35"

So, let's hope I see results, I figure if I get my butt up early enough and do this simple less than 30 minute DVD every day, that I'll probably eat better throughout the week.  I'm currently probably sitting at 212 after this past week but was at 210.6 for my last weigh in.

Here's to hoping Jillian Michaels can do her magic through my living room!

I miss her so much....

This is a non-weight related post.

As my wedding day approaches, I find that I am missing my grandmother more than anything.  I would trade every last bit of my wedding just to have her back.  I feel like she's missing.  I wasn't even engaged when she passed away.

I was never the little girl imagining her wedding day.  It had never been a thought in my mind.  Sure, I wanted to get married, but I didn't have it all planned out.  But I guess the one thing I had always pictures, was always sure of, is that I'd be able to share that day with my grandmother.

And now I'm not.  I try and try to feel her spirit, to remind myself that she's watching, that she knows, but I just don't feel her.  I want to hear her voice again.  I want her to see my dress, my ideas.  I want a photo with her when I'm all dressed up.  I don't have that.  I won't have that.  It breaks my heart.

I cry about her at least twice a week, and it's been almost a year.  I thought the pain would go away after a while.  Sure I don't cry every day anymore, but it's still frequent enough.

There isn't really a point to this post, other than that I needed to get this all out.  I'm empty without her and I don't talk about it to anyone.  I'm sure we all miss her.  She was an amazing lady.  I just really, really miss her.

Three Week Progress Report

In three weeks, I've lost an average of 1.2 pounds per week.  It doesn't sound like much, it honestly doesn't feel like much, but looking at the long term of it, if I continue on this path, I'll be at 185 by my wedding, and that is something I can be happy with.

Could I have done better these past three weeks?  Sure.  If I had been 100% strict with myself, and let's face it, I do that, and I go crazy and go completely off the wagon.

So what's worked?  My daily check off box for one.  I just mark of each day, write how many steps I've gotten in per day, and how I've felt I've done with food.  Good, bad, okay, can I do better.  And then I do it all over again the next day.  One day at a time seems to keep me in check.

I've also only weighed myself once a week, before I was doing it several times a week, and when I lost well it was great, but if I had gained back some of that I'd be disappointed in my smaller weight loss.  Once a week seems to be helping.

What I'm worried about is that the other day in the city, while trying to run to Union Station to catch my express train back to the suburbs, I twisted my already sore ankle.  So I'm not sure how well I'll do at walking this week, not to mention it's supposed to rain a ton this coming week anyway.

The more I walk, the more my left ankle hurts even before I twisted it.  I have severely pronated feet and so of course there's not much I can do other than a good orthodic.  I may just have to get up at 6 am and get on the bike at the clubhouse.  I dunno.

Anyway, that's my progress so far.

The little engine that could...

Week one done of my 25 week wedding countdown.

Day 167.

There is something to be said about the power of positive thinking.  As someone who nearly failed all science classes in high school I was terrified of the anatomy class I was going to have to take to pass massage therapy school.  But I was determined that I had to pass it, and I had to pass it at 100%.  That's right.  I told myself that I would get 100% on every test.  And guess what?  I did.  Well, in truth I missed two test dates so one was automatically docked 10% and I ended up with a 98% in the class but still.  I call that success.  I aimed high and far exceeded my true expectations of myself.

And yet this weight loss thing is a killer.  I never last tracking more than a week and half, and get derailed, only to put myself right back on plan after I've gained some of the hard earned weight loss back.  I'm more or less torturing myself.  Or it could be self sabotage.  I'm honestly not sure anymore.

That being said, I have 167 days until my wedding.  Which also means I'm not far off from my honeymoon in Hawaii, and I'll be damned if I'm going to be uncomfortable in my body by then.

So...I made a countdown calendar.  I truly am trying to take this one day at a time.  My food choices haven't been 100% but I haven't been horrible and I'm getting better.  I'm tracking everything so that's good.  I've done this for a week, I'm going to do it for the next 20 something weeks.  I am going to succeed.  I will reach my goal weight (174 for the wedding, I don't expect to get down to 151 in six months).

I am walking more (at least an hour a day on my horrendously long lunch break), and have worked out a few times this week too.

Keep me positive people.  If I can do this, albeit slowly, anyone can do this.  Let's do it together!

~Shannah, Current weight: 214.6 at last Monday's weigh in.  Size 16.

PS
Does ANYONE ever read this???  What can I do better?  I know I haven't posted pictures or anything.  Someone let me know if they're reading.  I'd love to know that I'm not just talking to myself.

When the horse knocks you off, you just keep getting back on...

I've been "dieting" on and off for over a year now...close to a year and a half, and I've been blogging for just as long.  I've tried a few things, had ups, and downs, but I keep trying.

That has to say something for me and my determination, even if I'm not always good about keeping food out of my mouth.

Lately, I've had a few people either tell me I'm looking skinnier, or ask if I've lost weight.  I in fact, have gained weight, and my engagement ring proves it by fitting a little tight.  I'm honestly not sure what to think.  When I was down 40 pounds and nobody had noticed it made me sad.  I had worked so hard, and nobody could tell?  I know it shouldn't be about what other people think, but we all want that reassurance that what we're doing is working.

I have 173 days starting tomorrow until my wedding.  I want to go on my honeymoon feeling accomplished, and just maybe a tad bit less cramped on that plane!

I made and printed a countdown calendar.  One day at a time, just stay on my points (weight watchers) and get some exercise, one day at a time.

Getting it done!!!!

This week, I weighed in at 206.8, so that means I'm back on track!  Yay for Weight Watchers.  There's something I dislike about having to pay to lose weight, but clearly this method works for me when I don't abandon it.

There are a few things I want to address as far as Weight Watchers is concerned and how to eat healthy properly.  While it's a good program and it works, some of the pre-packaged things have a TON of salt, and only 2500 mg of salt is recommended daily.  I know not everyone is readily concerned with things like that, but you honestly should be.  High blood pressure is a dangerous, silent killer.  Many people have high blood pressure and don't even know it!  Or, they're on medicine for it, and STILL have high blood pressure but they think because they're on the medicine, it's fine.  It's not.  Watch your salt as you go on your Weight Watchers journey because I've seen too many people in the various offices I've worked at that have high blood pressure and ignore it or didn't even know it.

I DO like that it counts fat and carbs.  This helps keep sugar at a low which is good!  We all love a little sugar and that's fine, moderation is key, and with Weight Watchers moderation is how you get through the day.  YES you can eat whatever you want, but that whatever you want may cost you all your daily points.

They have revised the website since I was on it last, which I love.  It has more helpful hints and ways to track healthy activity and choices.  It has tips on how to survive at home, work, and eating out even!  And you can customize it to what helps you most.

Anyway, while I may not be 198 like I was in July, I'm getting closer, and quicker!  I mean just a few weeks ago I was 213 pounds.  I feel like all my goals are in reach, if I can JUST stick to this.  The willpower to stick to a healthy eating ISN'T easy, but I find that after a year and a half I'm getting tired of going back and forth.  The best thing I can say, is that I'm reading more labels, and realizing what triggers my stomach issues, what doesn't, and I'm looking at foods for nutritional value more often that not.  What does this food provide MY  body?

What does your food give you?

Dealing with not knowing how to go about this anymore.

Over a year ago, I started this journey.  I've made some progress, but not like I was hoping for, and I still have a long way to go.  My problem now is that I have NO CLUE where to go from here.

When I started, I was on weight watchers, it stopped working for me, and it's not the most 100% healthy weightloss program.  You can eat a lot of processed, sugar-free, fat-free foods, and those have A LOT of chemicals in them.

So I started calorie counting, and that's great, if I could keep myself to my calories every day.  But if someone offers me something, I can say no once, but when it's sitting there, or someone keeps asking, I can only say no so much, and then I say YES.  And my mouth loves me (because let's face it I DO prefer sweets, chippies, and fried foods over grilled and veggies.  I LIKE veggies, but just not as much!)

I've stopped drinking soda, and will occasionally drink a diet, even though it's got nasty artificial sweeteners in it, I don't like to drink my calories.

So at this point, I've tried a lot of different things, and I'm just having a really hard time sticking to any one system, and now I've tried so much, I have NO idea what works for me and what doesn't anymore.  I've lost a little weight on each thing I've tried, and I have tried going back to Weight Watchers, but it is expensive, and if you read my last post, you know I just don't have the money for that program right now, I'm trying to figure out how to buy normal groceries.

What works for you?  What helped you stick with it?  And how did you know you were on the path to success?

Help for my wedding...

So, Nick and have been engaged since June, and we had some money for the wedding, but we moved to Illinois at the end of October, and because I was waiting for my Illinois Massage Therapy License, I had to spend some of what I had saved up.  I've seen people who had done fundraising online, so I'm taking a shot.      If any of you feel compelled to donate, we'll mention you in our speech at the wedding!  I'm not expecting to raise my goal, but any little bit helps.

http://gogetfunding.com/project/halloween-wedding-fund

Thank you so much!

Shannah S. Goss

Herbal Supplements and YOU! Part One.

Let's take a lesson in herbal supplements, shall we?

There are MANY different supplements on the market out there, and since they are "natural" people assume they are safe to take whatever they want.  This, my friends, is just not true.  Not only can certain herbs, or essential oils, interact poorly with each other, they can also cause serious issues with other medications you may be taking, or conditions that you have.

Take echinacea for example.  A power plant that's in everything these days.  I have an immune boost supplement that has it in it.  But did you know, that if you're allergic to ragweed, it can cause you issues?  Or that it may counteract with immunosuppressive drugs?

Okay, so....this was going to be longer....but I'm out of time....gotta get back to work....so I guess this is just PART ONE!  Stick around for PART TWO tomorrow!

DVD REVIEW: Women's Health: The Wedding Workout

For Christmas, my future sister-in-law gave me Women's Health: The Wedding Workout.  She knew that I had been wanting to get back on track with my exercise and diet and thought it would be some motivation for me.

The DVD has several features.  It has two Pre-Built Workouts: The Strapless Dress Workout - focuses on the upper body, and Short or Hip-Hugging Dress Workout - focuses on the lower body.

Also, you can make your own custom workout.  It gives you 10 slots to put the segments any way you want.  You have a few choices: 4 minute Warm-up, 11 minute Power Cardio, 12 minute Upper-Body, 11 minute Lower-body, 11 minute abs & core, and a 3 minute cool-down.

I attempted the Power Cardio right after Christmas and, as I had guessed, was incapable of doing it due to the quick movements that required co-ordination.

Today, I did the warm-up, upper-body, lower-body, and cool-down.  I skipped over the abs and core, though I probably should do that, I'm not quite ready for it.

I LOVED all the segments!  For the upper body all you need are 3-5 pound dumbbells.  The instructor is very clear, and the workout is not incredibly fast paced so that you can easily follow along with the movements.   I had a little more trouble with the lower-body but again just because it does require some co-ordination.

As I type this, I'm watching the abs & core portion of the DVD, and honestly, it looks pretty easy as far as me being able to follow along.  I will probably add this in to my workout very soon.

I would totally recommend this DVD to anyone and as a reminder:  If you can't do everything in a DVD, do what you can.  And if the movement HURTS in a non-exercise pain way, DO NOT DO IT!

This battle is never-ending, and I am no warrior...

Last week, my first week back to committed calorie counting and exercise, I lost four pounds.  This week, even with proper calorie counting and exercise, it has started to go up.

This is why I eventually give up.  I do not expect the fat to just melt away, but as I continue to work on it, I at least expect it to stay the same not go back up.  I understand muscle weighs more than fat, but there is no way I am gaining this much muscle.

I am 27.  I am 211 pounds.  My father is dropping tons of weight, and is only 12 pounds more than me...soon I will weigh more than my father.  In just over nine months, I am getting married, and am taking a 14 hour flight to Hawaii.  I do not want to sit in a seat, where I can't put the armrest down, where my thigh rubs against the neighbor next to me no matter how hard I try to sit closer to Nick, four 14 hours.

WHY is it so hard for my body to accept weight loss?  Why when I try so hard, does my body fight back.  I am SO TIRED of this.  I have been fighting with this for over a year now.  And I am so tired...and I hate my body.

When Nick puts his arm around me in bed, I suck in my stomach, when he touches my thigh, I think about how fat it is....I hate my body.  I am 27 and I have NEVER in my life, except early youth, loved my body, or how I looked.

I will NEVER forget the first time someone called me fat, or said my thighs were fat.  I was in 4th or 5th grade...and you know what?  Karma doesn't hit those people, she is now the girlfriend and mother of the child of a GREEN BAY PACKER!!!!!  That my friends, just proves that karma doesn't exist.  That girl will be set up for life.  And when I was young, she made me look at my body in a horrible way.  And I've never stopped looking at it that way since.

Apple? Why yes I WOULD like one please!

I have Tuesdays off and I tend to eat more when I'm just sitting around.  However, I found myself craving an apple.  That's right, the first time I'm craving healthy food!  YAY!

I haven't had any soda (I've been drinking diet soda for a year) for a week.  And I've worked out the past five days spending an average of an hour a day, which is awesome for me.  I've actually lost about three pounds already.  Which, if you don't think that's a lot, or when I don't think it's enough, one pound of fat is about the size of a fist.  Here's a visual:

I got this off the internet and I've seen it in numerous places so if you know the original poster let me know so I can give credit!

Hoping this will keep it in perspective for myself and others!

Up and down, up again...and working myself down.

It has been a little while.  I know.  I'm back up to 213 which is really disappointing since I was down to 198.  But it happens, the good news is, Nick and I are BOTH exercising, and when he does, it makes it easier for me to keep going.  I've done well.  I was actually at 215!

Eating healthier is getting easier, though portions are not.  Moving made it difficult and everyone always wants to go out to dinner to be social, and I'm sorry, but there is NOTHING healthy when you eat out.  The "healthy" options are usually at least 500 calories and when you're on a 1600 calorie diet, that's a LOT to waste on a meal.

Anyway, so I'm trying again.  And I will do this.  I have to.  I just have to.