Dealing with not knowing how to go about this anymore.

Over a year ago, I started this journey.  I've made some progress, but not like I was hoping for, and I still have a long way to go.  My problem now is that I have NO CLUE where to go from here.

When I started, I was on weight watchers, it stopped working for me, and it's not the most 100% healthy weightloss program.  You can eat a lot of processed, sugar-free, fat-free foods, and those have A LOT of chemicals in them.

So I started calorie counting, and that's great, if I could keep myself to my calories every day.  But if someone offers me something, I can say no once, but when it's sitting there, or someone keeps asking, I can only say no so much, and then I say YES.  And my mouth loves me (because let's face it I DO prefer sweets, chippies, and fried foods over grilled and veggies.  I LIKE veggies, but just not as much!)

I've stopped drinking soda, and will occasionally drink a diet, even though it's got nasty artificial sweeteners in it, I don't like to drink my calories.

So at this point, I've tried a lot of different things, and I'm just having a really hard time sticking to any one system, and now I've tried so much, I have NO idea what works for me and what doesn't anymore.  I've lost a little weight on each thing I've tried, and I have tried going back to Weight Watchers, but it is expensive, and if you read my last post, you know I just don't have the money for that program right now, I'm trying to figure out how to buy normal groceries.

What works for you?  What helped you stick with it?  And how did you know you were on the path to success?

Help for my wedding...

So, Nick and have been engaged since June, and we had some money for the wedding, but we moved to Illinois at the end of October, and because I was waiting for my Illinois Massage Therapy License, I had to spend some of what I had saved up.  I've seen people who had done fundraising online, so I'm taking a shot.      If any of you feel compelled to donate, we'll mention you in our speech at the wedding!  I'm not expecting to raise my goal, but any little bit helps.

http://gogetfunding.com/project/halloween-wedding-fund

Thank you so much!

Shannah S. Goss

Herbal Supplements and YOU! Part One.

Let's take a lesson in herbal supplements, shall we?

There are MANY different supplements on the market out there, and since they are "natural" people assume they are safe to take whatever they want.  This, my friends, is just not true.  Not only can certain herbs, or essential oils, interact poorly with each other, they can also cause serious issues with other medications you may be taking, or conditions that you have.

Take echinacea for example.  A power plant that's in everything these days.  I have an immune boost supplement that has it in it.  But did you know, that if you're allergic to ragweed, it can cause you issues?  Or that it may counteract with immunosuppressive drugs?

Okay, so....this was going to be longer....but I'm out of time....gotta get back to work....so I guess this is just PART ONE!  Stick around for PART TWO tomorrow!

DVD REVIEW: Women's Health: The Wedding Workout

For Christmas, my future sister-in-law gave me Women's Health: The Wedding Workout.  She knew that I had been wanting to get back on track with my exercise and diet and thought it would be some motivation for me.

The DVD has several features.  It has two Pre-Built Workouts: The Strapless Dress Workout - focuses on the upper body, and Short or Hip-Hugging Dress Workout - focuses on the lower body.

Also, you can make your own custom workout.  It gives you 10 slots to put the segments any way you want.  You have a few choices: 4 minute Warm-up, 11 minute Power Cardio, 12 minute Upper-Body, 11 minute Lower-body, 11 minute abs & core, and a 3 minute cool-down.

I attempted the Power Cardio right after Christmas and, as I had guessed, was incapable of doing it due to the quick movements that required co-ordination.

Today, I did the warm-up, upper-body, lower-body, and cool-down.  I skipped over the abs and core, though I probably should do that, I'm not quite ready for it.

I LOVED all the segments!  For the upper body all you need are 3-5 pound dumbbells.  The instructor is very clear, and the workout is not incredibly fast paced so that you can easily follow along with the movements.   I had a little more trouble with the lower-body but again just because it does require some co-ordination.

As I type this, I'm watching the abs & core portion of the DVD, and honestly, it looks pretty easy as far as me being able to follow along.  I will probably add this in to my workout very soon.

I would totally recommend this DVD to anyone and as a reminder:  If you can't do everything in a DVD, do what you can.  And if the movement HURTS in a non-exercise pain way, DO NOT DO IT!

This battle is never-ending, and I am no warrior...

Last week, my first week back to committed calorie counting and exercise, I lost four pounds.  This week, even with proper calorie counting and exercise, it has started to go up.

This is why I eventually give up.  I do not expect the fat to just melt away, but as I continue to work on it, I at least expect it to stay the same not go back up.  I understand muscle weighs more than fat, but there is no way I am gaining this much muscle.

I am 27.  I am 211 pounds.  My father is dropping tons of weight, and is only 12 pounds more than me...soon I will weigh more than my father.  In just over nine months, I am getting married, and am taking a 14 hour flight to Hawaii.  I do not want to sit in a seat, where I can't put the armrest down, where my thigh rubs against the neighbor next to me no matter how hard I try to sit closer to Nick, four 14 hours.

WHY is it so hard for my body to accept weight loss?  Why when I try so hard, does my body fight back.  I am SO TIRED of this.  I have been fighting with this for over a year now.  And I am so tired...and I hate my body.

When Nick puts his arm around me in bed, I suck in my stomach, when he touches my thigh, I think about how fat it is....I hate my body.  I am 27 and I have NEVER in my life, except early youth, loved my body, or how I looked.

I will NEVER forget the first time someone called me fat, or said my thighs were fat.  I was in 4th or 5th grade...and you know what?  Karma doesn't hit those people, she is now the girlfriend and mother of the child of a GREEN BAY PACKER!!!!!  That my friends, just proves that karma doesn't exist.  That girl will be set up for life.  And when I was young, she made me look at my body in a horrible way.  And I've never stopped looking at it that way since.

Apple? Why yes I WOULD like one please!

I have Tuesdays off and I tend to eat more when I'm just sitting around.  However, I found myself craving an apple.  That's right, the first time I'm craving healthy food!  YAY!

I haven't had any soda (I've been drinking diet soda for a year) for a week.  And I've worked out the past five days spending an average of an hour a day, which is awesome for me.  I've actually lost about three pounds already.  Which, if you don't think that's a lot, or when I don't think it's enough, one pound of fat is about the size of a fist.  Here's a visual:

I got this off the internet and I've seen it in numerous places so if you know the original poster let me know so I can give credit!

Hoping this will keep it in perspective for myself and others!

Up and down, up again...and working myself down.

It has been a little while.  I know.  I'm back up to 213 which is really disappointing since I was down to 198.  But it happens, the good news is, Nick and I are BOTH exercising, and when he does, it makes it easier for me to keep going.  I've done well.  I was actually at 215!

Eating healthier is getting easier, though portions are not.  Moving made it difficult and everyone always wants to go out to dinner to be social, and I'm sorry, but there is NOTHING healthy when you eat out.  The "healthy" options are usually at least 500 calories and when you're on a 1600 calorie diet, that's a LOT to waste on a meal.

Anyway, so I'm trying again.  And I will do this.  I have to.  I just have to.

Day Two of Challenge Week: Meat Free!!!

For some reason I decided this week (on Sunday) that I wanted to try going "meat free".  No reason in particular, I love meat, but when I do eat it, I make poor choices of how it's prepared.  You know, like fried.

Day One did not go so well.  I didn't eat meat, but I used it as an excuse to eat a lot of sugar and junk and ended up with a pretty bad stomach ache.

Today went better.  I went grocery shopping and bought fruit for snacks and came up with some interesting dinner plans (homemade bean burritos anyone?).  So I've ate better.

That said, it's been awhile since I've written an entry and a lot of that is that we've moved states, had a lot of other changes going on too.

Yes I did get down to 198.  But I'm back up to about 212.  So, I'm really trying to continue to plug through, eat better, and learn to be healthy.  A year down and I haven't gotten too far, but at least I'm farther ahead than I was last year!

I feel like a failure!

I should be happy.  I'm engaged much sooner than I thought.  But I'm not happy.  Not with myself anyway.

I had two weeks of bad eating and went from 202.4 to 211.  I'm back down to 207.6 but if I had just stuck with the damn diet, and let's face it that IS what it is because I am not eating what I want to, I would be under 200 pounds.  Which meant so much to me!

Instead on Saturday when we get our engagement photos done I will still be a fat cow.

I'm on Myfitnesspal, and there is a girl on there that has lost 37 pounds in 4 months.  37 in FOUR MONTHS!  I can't even lose 30 in 7 MONTHS!  And so many people have great weightloss like that.  But I just can't stick to eating healthy.  It gets old, it gets boring.  I like cake.   I LOVE McDonalds.  We like to go out to eat.  It's EASY to go out to eat.

I'm so tired of trying so hard most of the time, only to let myself down.  What sort of psychological crap is going on that makes me love food so much?  And all of the BAD food.  And how come some people who aren't active can eat and eat and eat, and never gain an ounce, but I exercise and watch and it takes so much CONTROL to lose just a few pounds?

I'm going to hate my engagement photos, because they will always be a reminder of what I couldn't accomplish....

When you can't sleep, get productive!

I woke up at 3 am today.  I went pee, then went back to bed...and laid there.  For an hour.  So I got up. I had not intended to workout today as I wasn't going to have time. I work from 9-12, and then around 2:30 Nick's parents and sister will arrive, and around 5 we're going out to dinner with some of my family as well, and then coming back to have drinks.

But I was bad last night, and didn't cook, and when I went to go pee I saw that my nails, which I had so carefully painted, had not cured when I went to bed and had those lovely little fabric lines in them.  Ladies, you know what I'm talking about.  So, I drank some Chocolate Silk (I love that stuff surprisingly!) took the nail polish off, and worked out.  The hardest I ever have.

Not only did I set the resistance and the highest I've gone (not for the whole time I up and down it), but I went 3.5 miles all at once, and in only 65 mins.  The first time I worked out for an hour I went one mile.  In one month I have vastly improved and I am feeling good.  I also burned the most calories I ever have in a day.  I'm very impressed with myself.

And that folks, is why you stick with it, you DO improve, but it's gradual.  But in just one month you see drastic changes in your fitness level, and the more fit, the more muscle, and muscle burns calories more efficiently thus less fat.  So STICK WITH IT, and when you can't sleep, get productive!

~Shannah

I'm engaged! AND lost more weight! Happy Day!

Nick proposed last night!  It was unexpected, in a lovely manner, and I cried.  And told him I loved him a billion times but I'm not sure if I ever really said yes!  Lol!

And, to top off that great news, I got on the scale and was down to 206.4!  Since I weighed 210.6 last Monday, I know my calorie counting and workout effort is working!  That's 4.2 pounds in a week and a half!  Not even!  More than I want to be honest because I want my skin to stay tight, but on the other hand it means I'm back to being as close to under 200 as I thought I was before I bought the new, more accurate scale.  I bought a cute maxi dress at wal-mart today to wear out Saturday for our engagement dinner with both sides of the family!  It was 16 and I don't feel like a wale in it.  Lovely!

Thanks everyone and I hope your week is as good as mine is!

~Shannah

Changing The Plan

So, by Wed of last week after not losing any more weight, I decided to start tracking calories too.  And by Thursday I was just tracking calories.  As a result, as of this morning, I lost 2.2 pounds last week!  So, calorie counting it is.  Number one this is tried and true, and number two Myfitnesspal.com allows me to track food just as easily as Weight Watchers, and it still holds me accountable as it shows me when I go under/over/right on my calorie goal.  It also tracks exercise and you can tailor it all to your needs.  It also counts my fat, protien, and carbs, just like WW did.  Only I can see how much of all that I'm eating and what changes I should make!

So, we'll see how well this works.  I think it's the best method just because it's teaching me how much to eat and of what.  It's also opened up more options to me, while closing the doors on some other, poorer options in the sense that I feel some foods just aren't worth it.

Also, I've been on the elliptical like crazy!  I upped my resistance and am improving my time and distance quite a bit.  Which ALSO burns more calroies!  I bought a heart rate monitor today to more accurately track that.  But the calorie counter is weird and attached to the pedometer so we'll see how it goes???

Can you do it today?

A few days ago I read an inspirational blog from someone who had lost an incredible amount of weight.  She had been afraid she wouldn't make it, didn't know if she could live without all of the food she loves ever again, and I feel much the same way.

However, something she asked herself, which I think we should all ask ourselves, is "But can we do just today?"  Can you go without that McDonalds today?  YES!  Can you eat just one dessert today?  YES!  Can you drink more water today?  YES!

And this, my friends, makes the journey MUCH easier.  Look at just today, and things will be different tomorrow.  :)

Making More Changes

So, my WW weigh in was today, since on Friday I was 206 and I have worked out and ate within points I was really surprised to see it at 207.2.  And very upset.   I've also worked out the past three days.

So, I decided that I MUST not be doing something right.

Number One: I've been eating high point dinners. This may be effecting it.  Also had a bit of sodium in there.  So I'm going to try and balance my points throughout the day.

Number two: No more guessing points!  As in, guessing that's 1/4 pound burger and not weighing it, so I bought a food scale.  And realized I have been guessing a bit.

Number three: I will eat all my points!  I have been weighing myself every day, and if I don't lose, I don't eat all my points the next day.  After reading a few blogs, and remembering my sister said you need to use them all to lose, I am going to eat them all.

Number four:  I bought a new scale that also calculates BMI and Body Fat%.  That way, if I'm gaining muscle from workouts, I will know.

Number Five: Weigh myself ONCE A WEEK.  I have been weighing myself daily to hold myself accountable, but I don't hold myself accountable.  Last week I ate McDonalds twice in one day and at Applebee's the next.  Granted I was within points the Applebee's day and manage to somehow not have McDonalds effect my weight, it's not good food.  It's bad food.  Very bad food.

Here is my problem with buying a new scale, it says I'm 210.  Not 207.2.  So I can't imagine I'll have a good WI next week.  It will say I have gained weight.  This is not going to be good for my self esteem.  I was so excited to get o 206, to have lost 26 pounds, 8% of my bodyweight, etc.  And to have that ripped from you SUCKS.  So, now I have to go on that journey all over again.

I still want to be 192 by September 8.  I am hoping I can get there.  That's 11.5 weeks.  That's 1.5 pounds a week.  It'd be nice to do more.  Now that I am exercising more maybe that's what I need.  I was on the elliptical for 2 miles today.  Took forever because I'm slow but that's about 400 calories according to the elliptical (it said it was more but I don't quite trust it 100%)

I will get there!

It's been about a month since Disney and I haven't really gotten any farther in my journey.  I didn't realize that vacation would set me back a whole moth, but it pretty much has.  It was a lot harder to get back into the good eating habit than I thought and in fact this past Friday I actually finished unpacking.  I've been lazy.

I did get my elliptical about a week and a half ago and have been very good about using it.  My work schedule makes it a little difficult (10-6 is a horrible shift to try and get anything done ever), but today I stayed on it for a whole hour.  It was very slow going, I only went 1.5 miles.  Which is sad that my half mile takes 20 minutes of my time but that's the truth!

I also have to say that Fat Free Cool whip is a godsend!  It's 0 points for 2 tbsp and if you go over it's not that many points.  I put it on some strawberries and bananas and it makes for a very delicious treat.  If only fruit lasted longer!  I tend to gobble it up!

I'm slacking I know...

So Disney World was awesome, the weight gain from it, not so much, and then a week later there was Memorial Day Weekend.  Nick and I haven't really gone grocery shopping since before Disney so I'm totally off track on Weight Watchers.  I did manage to get back down to before Disney weight (208), but after the past few days it's gone up to 211. Nick's birthday.  He doesn't realize eating out at wherever he wants doesn't work for me or my diet, but I didn't fight it that much and indulged.  I think once in a while I have to take a few and revert to the old ways.  It reminds me that I give myself heartburn and tummy aches.  Lol.

My dad finally got my elliptical here, but forgot the adapter, so we had to go buy a universal one, and I've done a half mile today and yesterday.  It took 17 minutes for me to do a half mile and I was dripping sweat.  Out of shape much?  Yeah.  And totally more intense than walking.  So no I have no excuses to not push myself.  YAY!  I wanted to be to my goal weight by the end of the year, not sure if that will happen.  I want to be at 192 by September 8.  Nick and I are going to a Cardinals game (his birthday present from me), and I would like to have lost all that.  That's just over five pounds a month.  It IS doable, but can I do it?

Spray tan...not so bad.

I wanted a spray tan for vacation because my legs reflect light, they really do.  I looked it up online and that is good and bad, there are some real horror stories out there!  Anyway, here are the results.  Up close I freak out, because I have NEVER been tan, but in pictures, which is what I wanted it for, it doesn't look too bad!

10% gone!!!!!

I was 209 at my weight watchers weigh in yesterday which was only .2 pounds from my 10% goal so I weighed myself this morning and I was 208.6!!!  So I have officially lost 10% of my body weight!

I consider this a huge goal, because losing 10% of your body weight can lower cholesterol, lower blood pressure, decrease change of diabetes, and improve many other aspects of your health.

Not only that, but I'm only 1.6 pounds away from my 207 goal for Disney and I have no doubt I will do that by the end of the week.  I am also excited to see if Nick's family notices my 25 pound weight loss.  Will it make a difference???  I know it does in my face, I barely have a double chin now when I smile!  Woooo!  But the rest of my body it's questionable.  I've been taking measurements and I have lost some around my hips, waist, and bust, but I find my arms and thighs hard to measure in the same place so I don't have a change there but I'm not sure if that's accurate or not.

Success!!!

Had my weigh in, down to 209.  I checked the scale twice.  I about had a heart attack.  I was hoping for 210 something but 209!!!!  Not eating wings from Buffalo Wild Wings last night was the right choice for me!!!   No problem I will be 207 by Disney.  I have a week to lose two pounds.  If I keep this will power I will see under 200 in no time!   Well....vacation may interrupt it but we'll see!

Update

Down to 211.2.   My Weight Watchers weigh in is tomorrow though so hopefully I can get down to the 210 range by then.  That gives me one week to lose 3 pounds before vacation to meet my goal of 207.  I know I can do it, because if I get down to 210 that means I lost three pounds this week and I even struggled mid-week after eating pizza.

I went shopping the other night for vacation clothes and that was difficult.  Shirts usually aren't too bad for me, but I went to four different stores (Kohls, Gordmans, Dress Barn, Old Navy) and didn't find anything.  Some of that was due to a trend in crappy thin fabric, some size, and lastly, giant armholes in tank tops.  I didn't want to have to heavily alter a tank top that was $20 you know?  I had already been to Wal-Mart, Target, and Maurices but hadn't found anything either.

Last night I made a trip to Wal-Mart and saw that there was a Cato by it.  I had forgotten about this store and they have a half hour until close but I thought I'd try it.  Found two shirts, tried on a few more that I could have done but one had ruffles and rhinestones and the other had clear sequins and Nick doesn't like fussy fashion so I opted out because I thought I might feel silly.  I did have to fix the armholes on one of them but it was very simple and quick so no biggie.

Anyway, I can't wait to show you guys pictures from the trip and it shouldn't be too long that I'm showing you pics of 202!  Well, I might gain in Disney but I'm not going to follow WW while I'm there.  It's vacation.  You shouldn't worry about that stuff on Vacation.